You know that song by the Rolling Stones, the one that goes “you can’t always get what you want”? Well, I was thinking about that song last night, and about the idea of disappointment. You see, I had a big disappointment yesterday. I found a sweet little cottage in my most desired area and I made a bid on it. I went in strong, with an offer above the list price, and the most compelling letter you ever could read, a letter so imploring and beguiling that it would be hard to imagine anyone turning their heart against it. It was a beautiful letter, and if you wish to see it, you can message me, but have a tissue ready.
Okay, I may be being a teeny hyperbolic, for dramatic intent, but it was a damn good letter. The irony of that is that I am not a big believer in the real estate “beg” letter, and in fact had instructed my realtor during my recent house sale that I didn’t want any letters shown to me, that I was in it for the cold hard cash and would not be swayed by sentiment. This is also bullshit, because, c’mon, I am a huge sap, I probably would have just given my house away to someone with a sad story, but I knew better than to be tempted.
Oh, how I digress! Back to disappointment. So, I was talking to my sister, as I do so often, and sharing how sad I was that I didn’t get that perfect little house, and she was consoling me, and probably feeling sad, that I was sad, because that’s the kind of loving sisters we are. And I said, you know, it’s cool, I’m used to disappointment. And I didn’t mean that as a tragically pathetic “poor me” kind of thing. I just meant, if you live long enough, sometimes things don’t work out your way.
Look, for two years, I interviewed for jobs. Some of you have no idea how many interviews I went on, and how many opportunities came down to me, or someone else. And every time, well, except for the happy last time, someone else won. Which meant, I lost. And those were bitter blows, with such huge ramifications. It wasn’t fun.
But I have this creed, I guess you could call it my “golden rule” (pun totally intended). Here it is, get out a pen. My golden rule is…don’t be a dick! And what I mean by that, is don’t use not getting your way as an excuse to act badly. We don’t always get what we want. In my opinion, and that’s the only opinion I can represent, the only thing we can control is our own behavior. Everything else is subject to the Gods or the odds or fates.
And when we don’t get what we want, when we don’t get the job, or the house, or the date, or the last pair of shoes on the flash sale, you know what? It’s probably going to be okay. Things have a way of working out as they should, and as long as you behave yourself and wait for the winds to change, you may end in a wonderful place you never dreamed of.
I never thought I would end up across the country, with a fantastic job, beginning to recreate a very sweet little life for myself. If you had asked me to predict my future, it is the last thing I could have ever imagined. But to have this adventure at this point in my life, what a huge gift! And it took surviving and thriving through all those disappointments to make it here.
So I’ll keep on the house hunt, and end up with something even more perfect and right than that little cottage I so wanted. Because, let’s sing together now, “you can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you might find, you get what you need.”
The end, for now
*Credit to Chumbawamba, Tubthumping