I Want Candy!

I love candy! More than I should. More than you know. I love it a lot. A LOT! Not chocolate, necessarily, although I’m not going to turn my perky little nose up at a nice piece of See’s, preferably dark with caramel. Or a Bordeaux. This is described on the See’s website as “a heavenly blend of creamy brown sugar covered in rich, dark chocolate and decorated with chocolate rice.” I mean, who would refuse that? Not me, that’s who would not!
I believe my love of candy to be hereditary. My Grandma Julia, may she rest in peace, was also a candy fiend. Better yet, when she was a young woman, she worked in a candy factory! Imagine the wonder and delight of little Kathi, leaning on Grandma’s knee, listening to the stories of the candy factory.
Like many things I have become obsessed with through the years, for instance, the whereabouts of Amelia Earhart, chicken wings, the Lindbergh baby kidnapping, and sandwiches, my candy knowledge ranking cannot really be considered amateur status. I probably would not be allowed to compete in the candy Olympics; it wouldn’t be fair to the other contestants. I can name 47 different kinds of candy within three minutes. I know this, because for the sake of scientific research, I just set my timer for three minutes and listed candy on an excel spreadsheet. It started, oddly enough, with Zots and ended with Mary Janes. Not the kind you smoke, the delicious little peanut butter chews.
I like chocolate well enough, the darker the better. But offer me a whole box of See’s or a roll of lifesavers, and I might have a hard choice to make. Offer me a box of See’s or a bag of red licorice wheels, and I’m going with the wheels.
I don’t especially like Jelly Bellys but I will eat them if I have to. If you’re wondering to yourself, why would she “have” to eat Jelly Bellys, well, I’ll tell you. For Christmas each year, my bff, let’s see, this week we’ll call her Sherry, we exchange stockings. We’ve been doing this for decades now, and it’s one of my most favorite things about Christmas. These aren’t just trivial stockings, we shop for them all year, and they are filled with wondrous things, like candles and foot balm and boxing nuns and goofy coasters. I always get Sherry shortbread, because she loves it. And she always gets me candy. Lots of candy!
But although Sherry is an awesome best friend, sometimes there’s a miss on the candy selection. Like the year she gave me a big ole hunking bag of Jelly Bellys. Which I then had to eat. See? Question asked and answered. But now, to avoid such mishaps, I give Sherry clear information in advance on candy purchasing options.
Here’s the list I have given her the last few years:
• Papabubble hard candy, the Cadillac of hard candy. Handmade and ridiculously expensive. But Christmas only comes once a year, right? If the budget won’t stretch to Papabubble, any hard candy is very welcome. Hard candy is my favorite kind of all candy. Which may account for my expensive relationship with my dentist.
• Licorice, red. Not soft, not Aussie. Whips and wheels, preferably. Or licorice pipes. Yum!
• Salt water taffy, from Atlantic City, not Chicago. Remember, I said I wasn’t an amateur.
• Salted caramels.
• Zots or Napoleons. Fizzers, which are like fizzy smarties, but you can’t find them anymore. Refreshers, which have to be ordered from England (like large Fizzers, they are DELICIOUS!).
I could, obviously, go on. But moderation in all things is always best. And while I have been known, in the distant past, to eat a whole roll of lifesavers in one sitting, these days I am much more prudent with my candy consumption. Too much sugar isn’t good for anyone, and I’m certainly not advocating for an all you can eat philosophy. But one little piece at a time, candy is just dandy!
The end, for now

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One response

  1. Leberman, Wendy | Reply

    I miss fizzers! I also love zots and YOU!

    Wendy Leberman Director of Admission TVT Community Day School Sent from my iPad

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