The Apple of my I, or, Siri-Prized

Last week, I finally swallowed the Kool-Aid and joined the Cult of Apple by getting an iPhone. And not just any iPhone, but a sweet white iPhone 5c, with a scratch protector surface, cute polka dot shatter proof case, and car charger. I call her Pokey and I love her very much.
It wasn’t necessarily my intention to get a new phone, given my current financial circumstances, but I certainly coveted one. Not only did almost every person I know have one of these fancy phones that seemed to connect them seamlessly with phone, text, music, entertainment, gps, and the wonderful world of apps, but my old phone was slightly less functional than a tin can and long piece of string. I hated talking on it, the sound quality sucked, and hated even more using it in any public situation where anyone could see that I was clearly not one of the cool kids. Its only redeeming feature was that it had a keyboard for texting. Unfortunately, I realized after I had locked into a 2 year contract, that keyboard made me even less cool and did not outweigh the other serious deficits of the device.
So imagine my excitement when I received an email from my phone carrier, hmmm, let’s call them Horizon, that I was eligible for an iPhone 5 months before my contract was up. Even more exciting, the email said the phone was free! Free!!! Now that’s a price I can afford!
However, I am a skeptic, and have learned, if something sounds too good to be true, it usually is. So, I called Horizon and spent 45 minutes of my precious time, first on hold, and then grilling a representative about every aspect of this “free” deal. I was also concerned about any additional costs from having to agree to a data plan, so imagine how thrilled I was when he told me I was eligible for another special, a customer loyalty program of sorts that would only increase my monthly plan by $10 a month. I was all in, and asked him to sign me up and send me my new baby.
Of course nothing is ever as easy as it sounds. The representative said it would be much easier for me to go to a Horizon store, where I could get my new phone, change my plan, and have all of my contacts transferred and ready to roll. He advised that this was a limited time offer, and that I should go as soon as possible. Nice guy that he was, he even called my closest store for me, and learned that they only had two phones left that would qualify for this deal. So I quickly printed out my email and sped to the store.
Well, what do you think? When I got to the store, they claimed they had no knowledge of this deal, and intimated that the phone customer service agents didn’t know what they were talking about. Fortunately, I had that email, which included my account number, and I quickly asked for a manager. I gave him a very polite little piece of my mind, including the phrases “bait and switch” and false advertising, and lo and behold, he was able to identify the deal. Then we wrangled about the customer loyalty program, and while I stayed extremely pleasant I’m pretty sure he may have gone in the back to weep just a little bit as I walked out with my new free phone and loyalty plan.
Now I have my new phone, and I love it. But, I have no idea how to use it! I have mastered making calls, of course, and basic texting, but for a girl who loves learning about new things as much as I do, I am oddly adverse to reading instructions. I can’t tell you how freaked out I was when I pushed a button and a voice asked me if they could help me with anything! Siri! My new best friend!
It’s going to be an adventure, me and my new phone getting to know each other, and it has already started. Yesterday I was speeding down the 405, returning home from one of those important appointments. I wanted to update my brother on what happened, so I asked Siri to “call Phil.” The next thing I knew Siri was dialing my old manager “Bill”. Fortunately he’s also a good friend but it was still a little awkward, and last night I carefully deleted all obsolete numbers, because given my odd accent, I could just envision Siri connecting me with my old nemesis Sherry when I really wanted to talk to Kerry.
The end, for now

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