Do You Want to Know a Secret?

I’ve always wanted to have an allure of mystery about me. This may be because I have always loved reading mysteries, or it may be because I grew up in a large family where there really were few secrets. When I was younger, there was a period of time where I wanted to be, alternately, a spy, a paid assassin, or “the woman who lives at the edge of the village.” You know, no-one knows her name or where she came from, they only know she’s dangerous. And beautiful. And licensed to kill.
But the truth is, I am pretty much an open book. First of all, as evidenced by this blog, I share pretty readily. I’m not too proud to admit my many flaws and gaffes, and since I am always pretty much laughing at myself, I figure I may as well share the silly or crazy things that seem to happen more to me than the average bear.
But I do have some secrets. And since, truthfully, this is one of those weeks where I’m not sure what I want to write about, I give to you a list:
5 Things You May Not Know About Kathi
1. For the first 40 years of my life, I would not eat a tomato, even if threatened with torture. They disgusted me, the smell, the texture, the gushiness. Gross. I was not alone in this, most of my siblings also disliked them, to varying degrees of hatred. They probably wouldn’t have withstood torture, but then again, they hadn’t gone through (imaginary) secret agent training. Then, when I turned 40, I suddenly started eating them. I don’t love tomatoes, but I won’t freak out and have a meltdown if one touches my lettuce. I’ve even been known to willingly order a BLT. I’ve also started eating sushi (LOVE) and blue cheese, two foods that completely horrified me when I was younger. Curious, no?
2. If I could change anything about my life, I would want to be richer, thinner and employed. And possibly in a healthy, loving relationship. But the biggest thing I would change, and hope to change, would be to start traveling more. There are so many places on this earth that I yearn to see, and I feel very consciously, the years ticking away on this goal. I want to see the Alaskan glaciers, I want to go to Vancouver, the Greek Isles, Italy, back to Paris, back to Hawaii, oh the places I will go. I think the travel bug is in my blood, my mom was in the travel business and traveled extensively. It really is number one on the list of things I will do when my life gets back on track employment-finance-wise.
3. Although I can be extremely cynical, I believe in magic and mystical things far more than you might expect. For one thing, I am pretty sure my mom comes to me in the form of a monarch butterfly. I know it sounds crazy, but right after she died, I starting seeing butterflies all the time. This was in February, which isn’t the season for monarchs. So, I started talking to them as if they were my mom, and soon, I really started believing they were. Or maybe I didn’t, but I still found it comforting. To this day, if I see a monarch butterfly, I say “Hi Mom.”
4. I also use a penny to make major decisions. I call it the “Magic Penny.” It drives a certain BFF crazy, but there’s actually science behind this. See, I read in some academic journal (okay, it was probably People Magazine) that if you are having troubles making a decision, you should toss a coin. Remember to pick sides first, “heads I buy a new car, tails I take the bus.” If it lands on tails, and your first instinct is to think, “gosh darnit, I REALLY wanted to buy a new car” you now have clarity as to your true desire. You’re welcome!
5. The idea of people watching me sleep totally freaks me out. I realize this can create problems if and when I form that healthy, loving relationship I so blithely mentioned a few points ago. And, just to be clear, it’s not like no-one’s EVER seen me sleep, let’s not start that rumor. But, I’m not comfortable with the concept. I don’t know if it’s a control thing, or lack of control thing, or I believe someone will steal my soul. It just creeps me out. It may be payback from when I was a young girl and shared a room with my sister. I convinced her that cats would suck the breath out of her as she slept. Then I would wait until she was sleeping, and start making breath sucking noises, interspersed with meows. Just harmless good times, right?
There you have it, 5 Things. Looking back at them, maybe I should have called it 5 Weird Things About Kathi. Because they are pretty odd little facts. Maybe I will regret sharing them at some point. Maybe they make me seem a little more complicated than you ever expected. Like, “I thought she was an open book, but now she seems so…mysterious.” And so, my work here is done.
The end, for now

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